One Year In

Hey guys,

Thanks for checking in. As always, I hope you’re all well and safe – despite everything that is going on in the world.

This past year has been an absolute joke. A year packed with so many downs I can barely see the positives in whatever ups there has been.

2020 – a year to forget

For many people, 2020 will be a year we just want to forget. Mainly because of COVID-19 and all the mayhem the virus has brought along. Many people has been taken from us way too soon.

I don’t personally know anyone who’s had COVID-19, but I’m not blind. I see what is going on around me. I see what’s going on in the world and I’m mentally conflicted when it comes to foreseeing what’s going to happen in the near future.

Personally, I do not think the world will get back to “normal” until a few years from now. With that being said, we probably all have to adapt to the “new normal” where virusses and mutations are going to play a bigger part in our lives.

Nonetheless, I think we can all agree that 2020 and maybe even 2021 are two years we just need to power through and forget as soon as possible.

A year in – car accident

Just before COVID-19 broke out to the entire world I was involved in a car accident. I’ve mentioned this a few times because of the effect it has had on my mental and physical health.

You can read more about it here.

Well, today it has been a year since the car accident and I feel like I have to write this post. It has had such a big, negative influence on my life since it happened and I need to write about it.

Daily struggles

As mentioned in previous posts, I had to quit my internship as a carpenter due to the accident. I simply couldn’t do the job because my back and neck was in such terrible shape. I then went on sick leave for more than half a year until I decided to go back to school at 28 to study multimediadesign.

Ever since we ran into the COVID-19 lockdown and me being on sick leave I’ve probably spent 85% of the time by myself in my apartment. At first, I wasted all my time at home because I was in so much pain – I simply couldn’t do anything. I’ve had to cancel or sit out from big events because I couldn’t sit down for longer periods of time or be actively involved.

Since then I’ve either learned to live with the pain or the painkillers are taking over the daily pain. I still have problems with my back and especially the amount of headaches has exploded – it’s not even funny.

Improving – one small step at a time

I’ve been working on my first exam for the past 1,5 months, so I’ve been able to follow my own schedule – meaning I could go for walks, stretch out or work out whenever I wanted to. Also, I have a good chair and a good work station at home with massage equipment and heat blankets to deal with some of the pain on a daily basis.

Today, I had my first full day of online lessons since mid december and I have the biggest headache right now. This, despite the fact that I did a workout this morning and also went for a long walk during my 1-hour lunch break. I’m afraid because I don’t know if I’ll be able to attend school and the many hours in front of a screen – it’s okay at home, but what happens when I have to go back to school or work without my equipment?

My back might have become stronger, since I started working out at home with light weights and resistance bands. The problem is just that I feel every workout for the next 3-4 days with loads of headaches and sore back. Honestly, I’m just telling myself that I have to do it. I’m in pain wether I workout or not, so I might as well work on getting my back and neck better.

Wrap up

But! The fact that I can actually lift – even though it’s only 8 kg dumbbells – is an amazing accomplishment and I’m really proud of me for trying to improve myself. I’ve been lifting weights and working out for years and when it all stopped, I’ve gained almost 20 kgs in a year. I started focusing on my diet and working out after new year and I’m already down 4,7 kgs – so I’m excited.

There’s a long way to go and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get back to where I was prior to the accident. Right now, I can’t focus on anything else than school and getting better – mentally and physically.

If you sit out there reading this – you might be in the same boat as me – then reach out to me. I’d love to talk to some of you. It’s a tough time, but we’ll get through it.

Thanks again for checking in.

Take care,

Junior out.

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